Emilia Clarke, best known for portraying Daenerys Targaryen in the global fantasy phenomenon Game of Thrones, has opened up about surviving two brain hemorrhages during her years on the show — experiences that left her certain she was 'meant to die.' Speaking on the How To Fail with Elizabeth Day podcast, the 39-year-old actress described the physical and emotional toll of her medical crises in striking detail.

The First Hemorrhage: Collapsing at a London Gym

Clarke recalled suffering her first brain hemorrhage shortly after completing filming on Game of Thrones' first season. She had been under intense stress following a rapid transformation in her career when she collapsed during a workout at a London gym.

'The closest thing to describe it is imagine an elastic band just snapping around your brain,' she said. 'This insane pressure.'

She recalled crawling to the bathroom and vomiting from the pain before realising the severity of what was happening. 'In that moment, I knew I was being brain-damaged,' she said. Doctors reportedly struggled initially to identify the cause, and according to Clarke, they assumed drug use could be a factor given her age. A nurse's suggestion to conduct a brain scan led to her transfer to a specialist hospital.

Hiding the Crisis from the Show's Creators

In the weeks that followed, Clarke said she channelled her energy into persuading the show's executives and creators that she would recover in time to continue. She had just landed what she described as her dream role and was desperate not to lose it.

'I was so ashamed that this thing had happened and that the people who had employed me might see me as weak or see me as something that could be broken,' she said. Throughout her wait for medical help, she reportedly repeated to herself that she was 'an actor' — a mental anchor to the life she feared losing.

The Second Aneurysm: Emergency Surgery in New York

Doctors had identified a second aneurysm during treatment for the first hemorrhage and monitored it through regular scans. The aneurysm ruptured while Clarke was living in New York and performing in a Broadway production. The surgery to repair it went wrong, requiring emergency intervention.

'My parents were waiting for me, and the doctors would come down every half an hour and say, 'We think she's going to die,'' Clarke recalled.

In the aftermath, Clarke said the emotional impact of the second hemorrhage was far more debilitating than the first. 'The biggest thing that happened to me with the second brain hemorrhage was I shut down emotionally,' she said. She also described becoming consumed by fear at the onset of any headache, convinced another hemorrhage was imminent.

Work as a Lifeline — and a Burden of Shame

Despite the trauma, Clarke said returning to work proved critical to her emotional survival. While promoting Game of Thrones at San Diego Comic-Con shortly after one of her surgeries, she recalled thinking: 'If I'm going to die, I'll do it on live TV.' She added: 'Without my work, I don't know what I would have done.'

Clarke also revealed that she denied herself much compassion during her recovery, having internalised the experience as a personal failure rather than a medical crisis beyond her control. Her candid account adds to a growing body of public discourse around celebrity health, mental resilience, and the hidden pressures of maintaining a career through life-threatening illness.